My mind is full of jam.

We discovered this public garden where blackberries grow freely on a rainy day. 

The crazy though of gathering enough for a jam crossed my mind but it was rainy and we didn't have any recipients with us.

He walked me to the train station next day, said goodbye and I left. Not for the train station but went back to blackberry heaven with the clear thought of picking enough for a jar of jam (you know that beautifully colored jelly you find in supermarkets, seed free and sweet as hell)

 

First you're going to pick the fruit. They are beautiful little creatures. Nature decided to gather up tiny blobs of pure delight, paint them black and call them....ahmm....blackberries. As for humans who want jam, all you have to do is give it time. Blackberries are naughty creatures and it takes time to get them together in an orderly pile in your bag.

Nature has a very nice way of putting things together as well. So you'll find nettle grows beautifully near shrubs of blackberry. Just to test how determined jam driven humans can be.
It takes a lot of time and you're alone. You start thinking that if someone passes through the garden they will at least say you're nuts. You look weird wearing boyfriend's fluffy but superwarm socks*, animal print hooded rain coat and 2 supermarket bags just to make sure the brazen creatures won't escape and stain everything around them. 

You even think about quitting. You told nobody about this idea so nobody can witness your failure.

And then something nice happens. You stop thinking. You know you'll make it. All it takes is patience and keeping your eye on the jar.

You will eventually manage to get a kilogram together. Your pinkie will be a bit numb from the nettle. But it will feel like fireworks light the sky spelling Welldone.

Got home and felt very creative. Instead of 900 gr of sugar, I added only 250. My jam is not very sweet and it's seedy but it tastes like victory.

Maybe we should make jam more often, just to learn about embracing whatever the process with a patient mind, not worrying about how we might look in the eyes of others while we're pursuing our crazy ideas, ready to get our hands numbed from whatever nettle we might come across.

Keep it real.

I moved to London 6 months ago, leaving a lot behind. A lot of my clothes, books, tools. The only thing I truly miss is my cat. 

You learn that you don't need a lot to be happy. You don't need two pairs of fins and 3 googles to be able to swim. You don't need all those boxes with small things you gathered all these years. You don't need all the books. You don't need all your clothes. You don't need that tshirt you bought years ago but never managed to give it away just because.

There comes a time when you need to stop doing the things you do. Especially when those things are nothing but noise. Especially when there's too much useless information coming at you from all directions. Our brains are not equipped for all this busy modern life we're living.

Stop, take a break and declutter.

You don't use it? You don't need it. 

I started with the luminous rectangles almost a month ago - deleted all the games from my iPhone. Then deleted a lot of apps that buzzed me with notifications but that I never really used. Trust me, you don't need a lot of free apps tracking your workouts, you need a good payed one.

Kept my games and books on the iPad that always stays offline. Offline time is always good time.

Mail was next so I unsubscribed from all the useless newsletters feeding me information I didn't use or need.

Maybe marketing should forget about newsletters and think about something new. They didn't make me buy anything or love the brand.

When it came to facebook, I had 2 choices, either delete the account but then again I use their messenger app to keep in touch with my real friends. So the obvious solution was to unfriend everyone I never met, or met but never really got to be personal or people that are not in my life anymore. Keeping it real. So I got from 2020 facebook friends to 600 people I know or I'm interested in what they do, or simply I just like them.

And it feels fucking great. Facebook is again only for friends, for sharing silly little things that amuse me and maybe the people I know.

Back to blog for sharing thoughts or inspiration. Back to soundcloud to discover new music. Back to newsreaders where I carefully curate what I read. Back to books. Back to more offline life. 

And I hate those sites that teach you how to make your life happier in 10 easy steps. I have no idea what works for you when it comes to decluttering and making your life easier and tastier. I'm simply sharing what works for me.

You go and have an awesome weekend. I know I am.

Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot.

Original cast for Breakfast at Tiffany's was Marylin Monroe. I'm pretty sure it would have been a completely different movie. Not sure a better one.

Audrey Hepburn has always been an inspiration for me. Her timelessness, her grace, her style, her sense of humour, her vulnerability but at the same time, her wiseness always gave me confidence. Confidence to wear a little black dress, show some back and pearls and the occasional tiara. Confidence to keep it simple.

Vulnerable and sweet enough to say all those quotes about happiness, pretty girls and kisses you'll see on facebook today, wise&graceful enough to embrace her age by retiring at her best, not ending up as  botox, paralax or whatever old stars put in them to be for ever young.

Guys at Tiffany's know all this. She gracefully endorsed Tiffany's at a time where "product placement" and "brand values" weren't even invented. But Tiffany's are smart. They keep delivering that feeling, even today.
It's true. Nothing bad ever happens there. It's not about feeling like a princess, it's about feeling human, being asked silly questions without feeling questioned while delivering splendid service which makes your necklace, brought there for a fix, a valuable reminder that some stories are real and not fairytales. Great "brand" and "customer care" lesson there. 

She's a constant reminder that only with an open heart, you'll feel all those beautiful things that we all crave for. That it's all about smiling and feeling happy, a visionaire, indeed ( I'm sure Pharrell is a huge fan as well ).

So thank you Audrey for everything, cause at the end of the day we're all a sweet vulnerable bundle of neuroses. And it's ok.

Pain is necessary, suffering is optional.

When I first saw London Marathon's map, wondered how on Earth am I going to move that day, since it's basically by my house.

Woke up today knowing I'm going to see it, although I had no burning desire nor was in a very olympic mood. I needed milk.

I was sure I was going to take some pictures, instagram them, get milk and go home. Got there, found a good spot, took some pictures and it started to come to me. My spot is pretty close to the finish line. But for runners who made it this far, pretty far away. And you see it not in the first 3 hours but after 5 hours in the competition. They almost walk, but they are not stopping.

And it hit me.

Awe, because I've always admired athletes. And my, a marathon is quite a distance. I've always wondered what went throught Phidippides's brain while he did it. What really drove him. Cause back then Nike was just a goddess not something you put your feet in and go train for a marathon.

And for people who run or do any kind of sport, even for short distances, you know how hard it is to tame your brain into doing just another lap. 

And then I felt envious for every single person I saw running today. Because when they cross that line, they will feel, today, a week from now, a month from now, that they can do anything on this planet. That, through hard work, will power and discipline they can achieve anything. At a slower or faster pace. And I remembered how it felt when I did swimming competitions. There was no pleasure there. It was hard work, determination and faith that got me pass the finish line. But life was simple. Good. It had bubbly at the end of the day.

I felt envious for the smiles on their faces when they're going to finish, for their quiet sleep tonight, for the meal that's going to taste like heaven. 

And then I felt humble and inspired. So for every person, superhero and building that did the London Marathon today, I humbly thank you for reminding me that we all run. It's about deciding if we run for or from something. You've been amazing, thank you.

Title of this post taken from Haruki Murakami's book: What I talk when I talk about running.

Van Eyck was here