The world is dead - Long live the world.

Been preparing this post for a while and now it's time to share my thoughts.

When I was a kid, I used to have a nightmare - over and over again. I was locked in this house with no doors, just windows and the house was slowly flooding. Concrete grey all over. And my darkest fear was that water is going to reach the plugs and I'm going to die electrocuted.

I told my mom about it - she said that even in dreams I can stop it and dream about something else. It's true. I never had that dream ever again.

My 2011 was like a nightmare battle where you keep fighting but you're not getting anywhere. You want to prove yourself and the whole world that you're the absolute best.

You have no idea who you're fighting with. You know that you simply have to keep doing it cause... wait. And you stop. Why do I have to do this? I'm way too tired for this and I don't like this armour. It doesn't match my eyes.

And you drop your weapons and say, fuck it. I quit.

When you drop the sword, the battle stops and suddenly everything is changed. It's not a battle anymore. It's a dance in the dark. You have no idea how to do it. You heard about people elegantly moving together but you have no idea how to do it. Oh wait, there's music. Oh my, so many new things.

And you start moving, led by something you can't explain. You're clumsy as hell and you feel ashamed, naked in a ballroom where everyone seems perfect.

And then, the ballroom warms slowly by guiding floating lights and you have a pretty dress and a tiara and you're not that bad. You're still very clumsy and still scared but there are some people smiling at you while you unintentionally step on somebody's foot, light is complementing your eyes and you trust yourself to keep doing this new thing, even if you're not very good at it.

Color and love flood the space behind your eyes.

I wanted this post to be a confession about the many things I've began to see only this year.

I pictured it smart and full of wiseness. Instead all I could write is ( if you've reached this far ) what you've already read.

I was blessed with pain and guiding lights disguised as people teaching me, tenderly and sometimes not so tenderly about music, vulnerability, friendship and love.

Thank you beautiful people in my life.

I like dancing with you. I can only hope I'm not stepping on your foot too much.

Keep on teaching me new moves please.

I wish we all have an elegant year no matter what the DJ plays.

Untitled - mainly about music.

My last year taught me so many things. I think that spelling them out would feel like coming out to shore after a dark&troubled night on the sea, guided by blissful lighthouses. Peaceful, thankful and hopefully, wiser.

And since I'm preparing it like it deserves, I thought a lot about the matching music.

Enjoy mighty Cinematic Orchestra's lastest work.

Second best

I went to a swimming competition yesterday. A serious one.

I enjoy swimming a lot but I never fooled myself that I'm really good. I got 2 medals, silver for 50m freestyle and gold for 400m freestyle. But due to a minor logistic issue, I didn't get the actual gold medal, the object . Don't get me wrong, I got the no. 1 diploma and there are pictures of me high on the platform, but I don't have the medal. At first I was a bit disappointed. Cause I like medals.

But later I realized that I love my silver medal more and I don't need the gold one.

It became my favorite and most precious belonging at the moment. I'm wearing it as I write this.

It's a constant reminder not to settle, that there will always be something or someone to look up to. Thank God for that.

Photo by Toth Eniko

Nostalgia

For me, Mad Men never did it. I have no idea why. Everyone around me loved it. I didn't manage to go pass episode 4. But in this mash-up, Don Draper says something that caught my attention.

He talks about nostalgia and how important it is in advertising.

" It's delicate but potent(..) nostalgia literally means the pain from an old wound, it's a twinge in the heart, far more powerful than the memory alone"

Wikipedia doesn't literally agree, Bruce McCall says that nostalgia is one of the most utterly useless human emotions, but I like Don Draper's version (cause I'm a sucker for nice words)

Well, tonight, nostalgia got me very excited. So while listening to this, oh my, so impossibly sweet song, I'm happy to be nostalgic.

Candy anyone?

Sometimes Dutch paintings just happen. Mister Theo.

Have you seen the sky today?

Rouge

This is not a paid post. It's just love.

In february I said that red lipstick is going to have a spectacular comeback this year.

Deea doesn't wear one but nevertheless, her post on signature lipstick is beautiful. It reminded me that we should wear lipstick more often.

Mine is 100percent Pure Cosmetics Fruit Pigmented Lip Glaze Cabernet , love it and I think I found the one.

When the thunder calls you

Recently I've been quite pissed off with facebook's latest complicated changes. I mean, changes are good but it became so complicated. Remember when it was simple and fun?

But then I saw this little sign.

So appropriate. Family connections are like thunders, some good, some bad.

Nevertheless the little thunder made me smile.

I guess I'm a sucker for small cute details.

I'm not a huge fan of pink but.....

Stiam ca toata lumea e vulnerabila, fragila, sensibila si facuta din carne si oase. Stiam asta ca pe o axioma. Ceva ce nu trebuie demonstrat si care are o valoare atat de abstracta incat nu ma intereseaza/atinge.

Mult timp mi s-a parut ca a arata ca esti vulnerabil e un semn de slabiciune. Nu se face sa arati ca esti vulnerabil pentru ca asta te face un om slab, nedemn de respectul de sine si al celorlalti.

Si intr-un moment de ceata, o prietena mi-a spus:

" Vezi tu, pana one is not ready to feel vulnerable, one will be knocked down to feel vulnerable. Sa fii vulnerabil emotional si cald cu oamenii nu e slabiciune, e chiar mai usor sa handle relationships with people like this."

And my, was I knocked down. Am aflat asa ca nu e un semn de slabiciune.

Ascunderea vulnerabilitatii proprii, negarea importantei ei e una dintre cele mai mai rele pe care poti sa le faci, tie si celorlalti.

Si daca as scrie asta doar pentru mine e ca si cum as nega tot ce am zis.

So, nu-mi place rozul foarte tare dar sunt vulnerabila si e perfect in regula.

Publish Post.

Cateva idei interesante despre vulnerabilitate

It's all in the black turtleneck

" The great thing in a library is to find things you're not looking for."

Dear Rem, may I apply this to life itself and not only to libraries?

Rem remains one of the true visionaries and even though this might look like a talk for architects, it's not.

And I have a soft spot for him, because he swims every day.

Warning: this requires focus (Rem has a funny accent), time and availability.

OMA "Cities of Opportunity" Interview with Rem Koolhaas by PwC from OMA on Vimeo.

Just a thought

If I would ever fall in love with a girl, Lana del Rey would be my dream girl.

This beauty can sing like a mermaid.

I've always been happily sad

What do you do when you're sad?

I watch this one.

Beware!!

It's longer than the average 3min cat video you like on facebook, requires focus and availability.

If this didn't make you close the window, then there's some pretty neat ideas in it.

- All the good friendships are based on confessions of things that the world thinks of as unacceptable

- Marriage out of love and having a job you love destroys the “safety valves” - the hobby and the mistress.

- Sadness improves your sex appeal.

- For the cheerful side of pessimism and how to be happily sad - put a skull on your desk cause that is going to make you more focused on what's important.

- In the moments of darkness you have the best insights into what you really need in life.

- A man should swallow a toad every morning to be sure of not meeting with anything more disgusting in the day ahead

" Let's all share some misfortune cookies"

Enjoy.

Alain de Botton - On Pessimism from The School of Life on Vimeo.

Descopera spiritul olimpic

Joi am vazut posterul asta care ma indeamna sa descopar spiritul olimpic.

Azi l-am gasit. E la Izvorani, la COR. E mirrored si putin fade out. Dar e acolo.

Previziuni pentru viitor

Presimt ca tot hype-ul cu publicarea chestiilor interesante pe facebook se va duce curand.

Nu din cauza lui google+.

De fapt nu stiu din ce cauza.

Dar cred ca lumea se va intoarce la blogurile abandonate. Eu una vreau sa invat sa scriu, so here I am.

Si iata un blog pe care in ultima vreme il citesc cu placere

Rouge

Previziuni - anul 2011 e anul in care petrecerile de casa, tematice revin in mare forta.

La fel si rujul. Rosu.

Mark my words.